Thursday, January 29, 2009

Deny Myself?

Wanna be a fly on the wall of a recent conversation?
Come on, all women love to snoop and get the real dirt...here you go...
A view into my mind the other day....and my conversation with the Lord.

Deny Myself? That is your answer Lord? Seriously? I am supposed to deny myself? In this situation if I don't fight for myself I will be walked on big time. I don't get what I want, when I want it...and am pretty frustrated with things in general, and now you tell me to deny myself? Please! C'mon Lord, give me a break here. I am asking for your help and all you can say is...deny yourself Debbie?

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23

Ok, Ok....I see it's clear in your word that denial of "me" must be the way to you. And the way to you is the daily and hourly coming to you...which is advancing towards you, and then I have to lay myself down every single day, and follow. Help me to unpack that and understand it for practical living Lord.
  • come: to advance towards and press into
  • deny: to refrain from satisfying one's desires or needs, practice self-denial
  • follow: to accompany, to pay attention to, to join on a journey
Today's example looks like this:
It's a new day and so God bids me to come to Him...again. This means that I am to begin advancing towards him through acknowledgement, prayer, and communication. I am to press into him for all that I need..."Lord, today I need you to lead me, guide me, fill me, that I may live as yours in all my situational stuff"

Then I am to actually lay myself aside. An example would be....practice self-denial through determining to think of others first today, or by giving up my favorite food today, or by not watching my favorite t.v. show today and instead reading during that time or serving someone during that time....you get the idea. Self denial also comes in the form of not demanding my rights from others or God...that is a hard one, isn't it? We demand that our husbands treat us a certain way, or that a friend responds as we would want her to, etc...etc...
Quit demanding, Stop controlling and trust God, that is practicing self-denial.

Next I am to follow. This is the action step of actually stepping into Christ as I journey through the day. Paying attention all day, to his still small voice and nudges, leadings, etc....

So...
  • Here I am Lord
  • I lay myself down Lord
  • I am paying attention Lord.
Denying our self is not a simplistic 3 step process. This is something that we have to pay attention to on a daily basis and it is learned, because it is not natural to us. Each of us has something different to lay down each day. Just be true to who God is calling you to be, line up with his word, and He will lead you down the path to growing deeper and closer to Him.

Follow Today. Just Today. Try it!
Daily Prayer
Father, I come to you as selfish as I can be, and ask that you continue developing me into the woman of God that you have designed me to be. I WANT TO lay my self and life aside each day. I need you to show me how to do that, what it looks like, where you are calling me to do that. It's not easy, natural or fun. And, I love to have fun. So, Jesus, give me a vision of the delight of being pleasing to you, for that is better than fun and more fulfilling than having my own way.

1 comment:

Carol said...

Hi Debbie,

I am so excited to find your blog. Today's really has sparked my heart. I had just finished reading in Luke about the rich young ruler, and then came in and found your blog entry.

I actually got to hear you speak twice at the women's retreats with my sister's church in San Ramon, Canyon Creek Presbyterian, back in 2000 and 2002. God really spoke to me through those two retreats, and they made such an impact in my life. I smile every time I see the clock show 8:28 and I still keep my baby picture in Psalm 139 as you suggested in the first retreat. In fact this year when I got my daughter her first "not children's" Bible, I put her baby picture in Psalm 139 too.

On the second retreat you shared about a illness you had, that had sounded so similar to what I had experienced in 2001, and when I shared it with you on the retreat in 2002, we discovered that we both had Autoimmune Hepatitis. I have no idea if you remember it, but I do because you are the only person I have physically met with that illness.

Anyway I'm glad to be able to read your blog, and I hope to get to hear you speak again. Looks like you've been busy writing too. I do have a blog, that I share how God has changed me, and is still working on growing me and stretching in my life. If you ever get a chance to stop by and say hi.

I also participate in an online book study too. It's great to meet so many people through this study.

Well I just wante to say hello and reintroduce myself.

Thank you for continuing to share your heart.

:) Carol
from Sunnyvale, CA